Shanielle: Greatest Big Brother Nomance of All Time

Updated: Last night Shane spent about 15 minutes basically telling Danielle that he is not interested in and her and does not want her touching him. She still does not get it. Flashback on the Live Feeds to 8/1 at 2:24AM BBT to watch it for yourself.

I hate to burst your bubble fair Big Brother 14 CBS-only watchers, but the showmance of Shane and Danielle is simply not real. It is a façade created by some crafty editing work. The truth behind the nomance of Shanielle is actually embarrassing, awkward, difficult to watch and borderline creepy. It was hard to keep track of how much alcohol the two actually consumed last night, but it was somewhere between enough to make Danielle act like a complete fool, yet not enough to break down Shane’s reserve.

Here is where I am going to rant for a bit. I can’t promise full thoughts or sentences:

Everyone engaged in a game of spin the bottle which quickly seemed to become some kind of excuse for Danielle to get her moment to kiss Shane (Flashback to 7/28 10:13 PM BBT Cam 1), which was like very Junior High and also very hard to watch because those of us that have paid close attention have heard Shane say several times that he is not into Danielle. Those of us with even a blip of gaydar can clearly see that Shane is either in denial, or stuck in the closet or something, not because he isn’t attracted to Danielle, or because he wears pink tank tops, because I am not stereotypical like that, but because he just has that thing about him that one’s gaydar hones in on.

More ranting…

So when Shane goes to spin the bottle you just know some awkward moment is about to take place but you keep watching because we all know what’s coming because we’ve all been 12. So Shane spins the bottle and it lands on himself and someone somewhere declares that means houseguest’s choice. Janelle and Wil decide that means to fling Danielle on top of him. They kiss, and Shane looks like he is picturing Brad Pitt in his mind, and in Danielle’s mind the lights dim and cupid rapes her up the ass with his arrow.

And yet more ranting…

So Danielle gives Janelle a big hug and kiss for making her dreams come true…because I guess it’s better to force the guy you like to kiss you than to have never kissed at all? I don’t know, but immediately Danielle thinks this means that they are now betrothed. She changes into her sexiest sweatpants that she can find and spends the rest of the night contorting her face and body in the strangest ways I have ever seen because I guess she thinks it is better to look deformed than it is to look comfortable…I’m not sure. She spends the rest of the night either up Shane ass, which he would have liked so much more if she were a dude, or trying to analyze the momentary liplock with anyone who would listen.

Final thoughts…

Honestly it was a truly entertaining evening, although I find it so disturbing the way the other females in the house urge Danielle towards Shane when it is obvious to anyone with eyes, blind or otherwise, that he is just not that into her. The story didn’t end here, and probably won’t for awhile, but you really have to get the feeds and watch it unfold!

Follow Joanna on twitter at @prettyplainjo for her thoughts on Big Brother or check out here non-Big Brother blog “Pretty Plain Jo”.

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27 Responses to Shanielle: Greatest Big Brother Nomance of All Time

  1. carl July 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    can we get pics of danielle in these sexy sweatpants and of her contorting herself?

  2. Spader July 29, 2012 at 7:55 pm #

    I Find this whole thing hilarious because Shane is just simply not attracted to Danielle. You could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes looking into the fire that night. The guilt and shame of kissing a girl so butt fugly resonated in his mind and will do so until he eventually takes his own life.

  3. prettyplainjo July 29, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

    Carl – Be glad that we did not post pics. The sweatpants were not very sexy. And the contorting was………strange.

  4. Bob July 29, 2012 at 9:23 pm #

    Danielle is fugly? What the hell are you watching. By far the best looking on the show this season. Shane is clearly gay

  5. JMA July 29, 2012 at 10:23 pm #

    You guys are out of your mind!! Danielle is smoking hot and her body is incredibly hot. The only reason why she looks “ugly” without makeup is because she’s so pale. Her ass is perfect, her chest is perfect, her personality is perfect… Should I go on & on? Ok I won’t!

  6. prettyplainjo July 29, 2012 at 10:28 pm #

    No, no. She looks ugly WITH makeup. I have no idea what she looks like without makeup because she gets up, gets out her paint roller, and 30 minutes later she has 12 layers of shit on her face. She sucks in her cheeks and pouts her lips and constantly tries to position her body in really unnatural ways in order to appear more attractive (?) and it looks like the top half of her body is made out of pudding, and the bottom half is made out of cottage cheese. That is all. For now.

  7. Dani's Self Esteem July 30, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    JMA: “her personality is perfect”

    lol. This guy doesn’t watch the live streams.

  8. mcflyer54 July 30, 2012 at 2:26 pm #

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this article. I haven’t a clue if Shane is gay or not but if I were a betting man I would absolutely positively bet my house that he is. With the exception of his modeling photos (hint, hint) Shane has virtually no presence whatsoever on the internet. He has either very effectively scrubbed all traces of himself or has been very careful about what he has posted. At 27, and as attractive as he is, there should be something out there and there doesn’t appear to be.

  9. mcflyer54 July 30, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

    Last time this awkwardness happened was season 5 with Drew & Diane – she threw herself at him big time. Diane is now married (not to Drew) and Drew is now OUT and just recently arrested for domestic violence against his “roommate”.

  10. prettyplainjo July 30, 2012 at 5:58 pm #

    I had no idea Drew was out! Thanks for the info. And now that you say it, there is a definite similarity between Drew and Shane…

  11. carl July 30, 2012 at 10:00 pm #

    i’ll be the judge of whether she looks bad in the pants or not. i think she has the sexiest body and curves. if you have pics i’d love to see them. her body drives me up the wals. in a good way. love her damn curves and ass

  12. JMA July 30, 2012 at 11:36 pm #

    No I don’t. Please inform me! I’d still fuck her good if given the chance.

  13. prettyplainjo July 31, 2012 at 5:52 am #

    …I think you two need to take a break from the internet and go outside.

  14. JMA August 1, 2012 at 10:26 am #

    NO! and you can’t make me!! ;0)

  15. Carter August 1, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

    As absolutely terrible of a person Danielle seems, just by reading about the live feeds, I kind of feel bad for her. I am one of the people who only watch Big Brother on CBS, mostly because it’s the first time I’ve watched it after a coworker at Dish recommended it to me, so I don’t get to see anything but what they want me to, and what’s on Big Brother After Dark. I won’t be able to watch this week’s episodes live, but my Hopper will record them for me with PrimeTime Anytime so I can watch them on Friday with the Auto Hop feature to skip the commercials. I still just feel like she is so completely blinded by his good looks, that she can’t look away long enough to realize he doesn’t want her!

  16. prettyplainjo August 1, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

    Carter – You should get the feeds. Even if you can’t watch them live, there is a flashback feature so that if you get home from work and see something cool happened you can just “flash back” to the time it happened and watch for yourself. Feeds are important because the editing of Big Brother doesn’t do most of the happenings any justice. It is nice that us viewers can go into the feeds, watch the action, and formulate our own opinions.

  17. Apple August 1, 2012 at 10:03 pm #

    The icing on the cake was when danielle “desperella” was offering to take care of Shane financially or give him 1/2 the 500,000 if she won (I know delusions her winning).

    When you are reduced to trying to buy a good looking man, who still says no. It’s time to look in the mirror and have a serious talk with yourself. She really ignores the fact he told her he only likes her as a friend and hung on to the crumbs of hope he threw her. I don’t think he is gay, but Dani is a nice average girl aka boring. He was crushing on Kara a playmate of the year. Talk to yourself in the mirror Dani get your head in the game and try to redeem yourself as a modern woman. And if I ever see her as my nurse i will run through hospital walls with my ass hanging out of my hospital gown.

  18. FromtheRight August 1, 2012 at 10:19 pm #

    Danielle is trying too hard to be a naughty nurse.

  19. carl August 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    danielle is hot. now get over it. she has beautiful curves. she’s pretty, and has an absolutely mouth-watering body. she’s seeming desperate, yes. but she can do better than shane anyway. she could get a real man. shane is exactly what ashley and janelle said he was; he’s a skinny and feminine, and they would break HIM during sex. what woman wants that? danielle is too good for his scrawny/gay ass anyway. i see a shomance between shane and will in the near future

  20. bbwatcher August 2, 2012 at 7:38 pm #

    When i look danille’s face, I have a picture in my head of her hanging out the side car window panting.

  21. Nikki August 23, 2012 at 5:53 am #

    Danielle’s self-esteem is so low that she willing to take anyone. Girl catch a clue and realize Shane is either gay or clearly not interested in you.

  22. bopo September 18, 2012 at 3:26 pm #

    I love that you are promoting this post in your latest update email without updating how they were towards the end or Shane saying it was real.

  23. kath September 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    I don’t think Shane is gay, Ijust don’t think he want his private life broadcasted for people to talk about. As the show went on he appeared to warm up to Dani. Dan is a poor. Excuse for a human. I surly would not want him coaching kids. He is so into himself. I hope he is embarressed. He is fugly in so many ways. No integrity at all.


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